13-Conscious Awareness Experiment

Conscious awareness (consciousness) is impossible to fully understand from the perspective of the ego. Psychologists and neuroscientists are trying to find out a way to put it in a box but they'll never be able to. It can be baffling. They are trying to turn it into a concept.

Is consciousness a concept to you? Do you just accept it without having any understanding of it? Let's do a little experiment that might give you a better understanding. Let's use a little imagination and some common sense. You can't do this experiment when reading so I'm going to have you do it step by step and after each step reopen your eyes and read the next step.

1. Close your eyes and notice that you see nothing. Direct your attention to that nothing you see. It might be dark or whitish in a lit room.
   
   
2. With your attention on that nothing you are seeing, imagine nothing about you exists except that which is perceiving that nothing. No thoughts. No mind. No body. No eyes.
   
   
3. Do it again and find what is looking at that nothing you can clearly see and perceive.

This isn't complex and sometimes its simplicity confuses people. What is seeing, experiencing and perceiving that nothingness is simply your conscious awareness. That doesn't sound all that profound does it? But hold on a minute, that is you being aware of nothingness without an identity. Don't take it for granted. It is profound. Your awareness is actually aware of nothing or nothingness.

4. Now do it again and be aware of only that awareness which is seeing and perceiving that nothingness.

If your awareness became aware of the awareness and this is a new experience for you, then you might have just been aware of something besides thoughts or any stimuli from your senses for the first time in your life. Is there anything more fundamental to your existence that awareness can be aware of?

12-Not Knowing

I don't know!

Throughout this blog I've tried to point out how our ego thinks it knows through belief, but all beliefs are so biased. So many of them are bound to be incorrect because of bias or simply because we just can't gather and assimilate the required information to actually know. Also, so many of our beliefs are based on other beliefs that may have been incorrect in the first place. The majority of our beliefs are what we chose to believe according to our own identity's self interest anyway so they really have little credibility in the first place. Our belief in knowing keeps us from actually seeing things as they are and stops us from seeking more information. But beliefs are so important to the ego that some people rather die than give up their beliefs. Beliefs are their identity and to give them up would be to essentially die without physically dying. All egos feel this way because in a sense it is true. To give up all beliefs would be the death of the ego/identity.

A belief is a thought that we identify with as ourselves believing that it is true or correct. I've pointed out how we have so many beliefs that we don't even consider to be beliefs. Our identity considers them knowledge and truths. So many of our thoughts are based on beliefs. So many of our decisions and judgments are based on beliefs and often we think that these beliefs aren't beliefs but absolute truths. Any thought in the form of perceived knowledge is a belief if there are other possibilities. That means they need to be facts to know them, but the ego can't know anything. The concept that the ego knows something or anything is entirely false. To understand this you need to be able to see that the ego/identity is a thought construct in the mind. If you can't get past that, then you wont be able to understand that the ego can't know anything and you'll likely be blocked from experiencing your true self. Identity only believes it knows. How can a thought construct of the mind know anything? Knowing can be an even bigger identifier than believing because we think we have clear justification for knowing something. All your perceived knowledge is in your mind as memory, but the ego tries to take credit for it by saying it knows this information. You do have factual information stored in your memory but it isn't knowing that is responsible for it being there. The ego can use your awareness of that knowledge to say that it knows it, but it doesn't really know it, your awareness is simply aware of it. The ego uses the concept of knowing to be “right” in a similar way it uses belief to be “right” to further validate itself.

The ego/identity is what performs the process of believing. It is the perceived entity that believes and believes it knows. Knowing is the ego's way of taking credit for knowledge and to further validate and prove itself, but it is an even stronger attachment than beliefs because if the knowledge is irrefutable, the identity's knowledge of it can't be denied and the ego can identify with it even stronger. Well, I just denied all of the ego's so called knowledge. The ego uses knowledge to identify with memory. It also uses memory to identify with the past. The ego believes that memory is a part of itself but it clearly isn't. It would be more accurate to say that the ego is a part of memory because it is comprised of beliefs that are stored in memory. Your memory is more responsible for your ego that the ego being responsible for the memory, but then we run into the ego paradox again. I've already pointed out how the ego can be responsible for a great deal of memory but not all of it. Particular knowledge can be chosen by the ego to place into memory by determining its importance. It then says it knows it, but the information is in the memory – not in the ego/identity.

Coming from the perspective of Conscious Awareness is a completely different paradigm from the perspective of the ego/identity. Conscious Awareness perceives through awareness of what is and the resulting understanding of what is in Natural Mind. It makes no judgments. It is aware of an understanding of not knowing. This understanding is simply something that it is aware of. For the ego to realize that it doesn't know anything can scare the living day lights out of the ego. This realization can sometimes scare the ego right out of the ego. But the understanding that comes from awareness is so much more reliable than the so called knowledge that is so biased and lacking objectivity of the ego. The ego has essentially governed its entire life off of beliefs it doesn't even know. It believes it knows things that it doesn't even have the capability of knowing in the first place. It isn't even capable of knowing 2+2=4 because the ego is a manufactured phenomenon of the mind that has no basis for knowing period.

The egos perspective is based on beliefs, perceived knowledge and its judgments instead of simply what is and awareness of understanding of what is. Conscious awareness is aware of 2+2=4 but it isn't knowledge to it. It is awareness of the fact. See the difference? Conscious Awareness can be aware of all the information, facts and beliefs in memory and is aware of an understanding of it that is in the realm of natural mind. Part of that understanding is that all beliefs and the information that can be considered factual is incredibly biased because of how it was retained in the first place. Natural mind can use that awareness and its own less biased understanding to make much better decisions and conclusions with much more reliability.

When you are able to say “I don't know” about everything, it opens you up to endless possibilities. Your Natural Mind can still use all the information in memory and even beliefs to come to conclusions and decisions but it will do it with the understanding that the information is biased and it will be open to more information that isn't as biased. The greatest un-limiting belief that the natural mind can put into memory for the ego is the belief “I don't know.” It is something that natural mind is aware of but the ego/identity needs to believe for it to say "I don't know" because the ego/identity isn't even capable of knowing that. It has to believe it believes it.

“I don't know” changes the whole perspective of the ego because the ego believes it knows everything it believes and believes all the biased factual information in memory as its own knowledge. It is rather proud of its beliefs and knowledge. In fact, it is so proud of it, the ego identifies with it with pride. The ego then justifies much of what it believes with that biased information. Natural mind with conscious awareness understands that a great deal of that factual knowledge was obtained by confirmation bias so it isn't reliable. It is also aware of the fact that the factual knowledge in memory is incredibly limited and forms a limited perspective. The natural mind understands that beliefs are a belief in knowing what isn't actually known and takes that into consideration as well. So, do you want to actually be “right” more often instead of just believing you're right all the time and actually being wrong more often? Are you willing to admit you don't know to actually be aware of what actually is?

11-Natural Mind

Earlier in the blog I wrote: “There is a sense of self or existence underlying the ego that we were born with or formed as an infant shortly after birth before identity began to form. It is more of a feeling than a thought or belief. It is a sense. Maybe it's our sixth sense. It is a presence. A pre sense. It isn't identity – ego. A baby has will and volition just not to the extent that an older child has or an adult has that is controlled with thoughts. A baby's will is controlled by intent without the concept of I. A baby is naturally curious and uses its will to explore the world. Just the act of reaching for an object is an act of will. A baby's curiosity requires some sense of self and will. But that sense of self isn't in the form of I. It isn't in the form of identity. It is more in the form of a feeling or sense of being or existing with curiosity and volition of its own that is a natural inherent understanding. We still have that being or existing feeling and understanding that still has will and volition but it has been covered up with the ego.  We actually use it everyday and it is responsible for most of our semi-conscious daily actions. I call it our Natural Mind."

This other part of your mind is difficult to distinguish from identity. As soon as it is identified as “I,” the ego/identity has taken it over. The ego perceives and believes it as part of itself, but it has will and volition all on its own separate from identity. It is an underlying aspect of yourself that is distinct from identity and isn't necessarily controlled by identity, but it has been obscured by identity. All of the definitions, beliefs and perspectives of identity have been piled on top of it and have obscured it from the ego itself, but it hasn't really been obscured. Your awareness has just lost awareness of it. This is your natural mind that you were born with or developed shortly after birth. It is your will and volition without identity. It is your natural state of mind without identity that you've had since before identity developed. It is not your conscious awareness, but it is in line with it. Its focus is through conscious awareness without the added unnatural aspects and perceptions of the ego/identity. It is much more in tune with your true self. Natural mind can by pass the ego and does so many times all day long. In fact, it controls most of your actions with you barely being aware of it.  Natural mind is so natural and subtle we are hardly aware of it. Ego mind continuously keeps the focus of attention on itself at nearly every moment the natural mind is idle. We can take that focus of attention away from the self/identity by intentionally using our Natural Mind.

Ego mind is the actively thinking mind of the self/identity and is distinct from Natural Mind. It approaches thinking from the perspective of self.  All too often ego mind controls the rational reasoning mind and usually directs and controls it irrationally according to its own self serving interests. Natural mind can intentionally think with logic and practical reasoning and work to ignore the emotions, biased beliefs and skewed perspective of the ego.  Natural mind can control attention and direct it away from the self-serving perspective of the ego to the perspective of the present moment of awareness of what simply is and use the rational thinking mind from a logical and practical perspective.

Natural Mind is explained better with an everyday scenario. Here is an example of your natural mind in your daily activities: At work, natural mind might have you get up from your desk and chair and go get a drink of water because you realize you're thirsty. You may not even consciously think you are thirsty. You get up, walk to the water cooler, grab a cup, fill the cup and return to your desk without a thought about it. The whole time you're doing this, your ego mind might be thinking about how rude your boss is to you and how he doesn't appreciate you and your work – all thoughts about yourself. You got the cup of water in automatic mode. I call this auto mode because it is automatic without full conscious thought. Your identity wasn't engaged in your actions. You accomplished the task of walking to the water cooler and getting a cup of water without your ego/identity all the while your identity was tied up in thinking about itself. This happens all throughout your day and is so common you usually aren't even aware of it happening. Becoming aware of it and staying aware of it can be a very useful tool as you'll see later. It is called Mindfulness or being mindful.

After you got back to your desk, let's say you resumed composing an important letter that needed your full attention and concentration and you naturally stopped thinking about yourself and your boss. Now you're in what I call intentional mode or intent mode. You are purposely acting intentionally to write the letter and using your rational mind to do it. So what happened to the thoughts about you and your boss? They're gone! You aren't composing the letter with a sense of identity unless it is in some way personal. In this scenario it isn't. Then you hear your boss yell your name and all of a sudden you're flooded with thoughts like “what did I do wrong” or “what now.” You go talk to your boss and he's in a bad mood and takes it out on you. After he chides and belittles you, you go back to your desk and resume composing the letter but you can't concentrate on it. Your ego mind can't stop thinking about what a jerk your boss just was to you. You're emotionally upset, but you really need to get that letter out pronto. Your ego/identity is in control of your rational thinking mind at that point. That natural part of your mind that has will and volition of its own apart from your identity needs to take your focus off yourself and your boss and direct it back to the letter. This can be very hard because the ego has a lot of control especially when it comes to emotional thinking, but you're able to do it out of necessity and you finish the letter. That other part of your mind wrestled your attention away from your self and towards the letter. Your natural mind accomplished the task that needed to be done by over riding the ego mind. 
 

If you just think this is just a personal perspective of mine, read Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman which I highly recommend. After I became aware of these two modes in myself, Intent and Auto, I researched the concept and found this best selling book. Daniel Kahneman is considered by many to be the top psychologist in the world and is a nobel prize winner. Thinking Fast and Slow is all about auto mode and intent mode of thinking which he calls system 1 and system 2. Auto mode is the fast thinking and intent mode is slow thinking. Auto mode controls a lot of our actions and behavior throughout our day but isn't very reliable and deceives us and affects our behavior in ways that we are completely unaware of. It affects our decision making and how we solve problems. It's almost frightening to see how out of touch we are with ourselves and our behavior. Kahneman backs his conclusions with numerous experiments and studies. Couple auto mode with all the biased perceptions of the ego and it's a miracle we can function in modern society at all. Even though auto mode's purpose is to make functioning more efficient for the mind, it can lead to major mistakes in our modern day complex social and economic society.  Mindfulness can help us to prevent these mistakes.

Mindfulness of our actions in auto mode can reduce misperceptions and mistakes by being fully aware of the present moment and your actions in it. Using the cup of water example, mindfulness could prevent you from tripping over a cord while walking back to your desk and spilling your cup of water all over your boss that you so desperately want approval from. Being mindful requires you to consistently be in intent mode with the intent of your awareness being fully present in the current moment. This keeps you in your conscious awareness and allows your perception to be less influenced by the biases and beliefs of the ego that skew our perception of reality. It also brings awareness to the auto mode that also incorrectly influences your thinking and behavior. Intent mode is always in the present. It only uses the rational mind for an intentional purpose like solving a problem, critical thinking or to carry out actions in the present such as a sport activity. Mindfulness in intent mode is a by-pass around the ego and allows you to function with much greater awareness of what actually is and not what your ego thinks it is or believes it is. It is the closest you can get to having an open unbiased mind.

Your Natural mind can also instill a belief in the ego. That's how my ego can believe that it isn't what it identifies as. That's how to convince the ego to believe in something that doesn't serve it to believe and that is the primary solution to the ego conundrum. It is a way for you to get the ego to give up control and surrender. It is the way to stop identifying. But let me make something clear, natural mind doesn't do the believing. Natural mind is very practical. It's not capable of belief because it isn't an identity. A thought that is formed with your reasoning mind that is rational without all the ego biases can be turned into a belief of the ego. That belief can be based on logic and rationale without an emotional element or ego self biased perspective. It can be based on the good and well being of your entire self and others and not just on your identity. It does this with a detached perspective. The issue is that the ego identity needs to believe it.

We can use natural mind to direct our focus of attention away from ego self and stop all the incessant thinking and self-dialogue the ego does. Or it can simply observe the thoughts of the ego and its constant dialogue. This is a very good technique for taking the power away from the ego mind. It is a common meditation technique also.

You loose awareness of your ego self identity often throughout your day. Your Natural mind usually disregards your ego identity when your intent mode is engaged. When you are very focused on something or concentrating, your internal dialogue stops and you loose awareness of your self. You are no longer consciously aware of your ego/self/identity. This is essentially what happens during meditation and mindfulness. Intent mode bypasses the ego and does so frequently every day. When you watch a good engaging movie, you loose yourself in the movie. When you are concentrating to solve a math problem or puzzle, you lose awareness of yourself. When you play a musical instrument, you loose your identity. It's interesting that playing a musical instrument uses both your auto mode and intentional mode at the same time and it also engages creativity. This also happens while playing sports and is probably why playing them is so enjoyable to so many people. Play gets us out of ourselves and allows us to have fun and enjoyment. The ego is no fun but often takes credit for it. Laughing takes us out of ourselves as well. What's more fun and enjoyable than laughing? Any form of focused concentration makes you lose your awareness of your identity, but you still have will and volition. With these activities you generally don't use your beliefs or emotions – you use your experience, knowledge and awareness of the current situation and moment. It is imperative that your focus be in the present moment. You can't do any of these activities without first doing that. That is how we should approach all of life. We can't fully live without being in the moment. If we aren't in the present moment then we are somewhere else and that isn't life. That is keeping our awareness in the mind which isn't life.

I could go into a thousand ways to deal with the ego but why bother when all you have to do is turn control over to your natural mind. If you do that, all the solutions will come to you anyway because you'll have a greater awareness of what actually is and not what the ego believes and perceives due to its self-serving biases. From that perspective you'll see how limiting the beliefs of the ego are and how there are so many other possibilities.

10-Personality Disorder

Personality is one of the most tightly held beliefs of the ego. It forms a significant part of identity. Personality is essentially the ego with just a few less identifiers. For example, you might identify with your profession but you don't consider it a part of your personality. You consider it a part of your person-hood, but not your personality. Personality is essentially how the ego acts and its behavior. It is the outward expression of the ego. It represents the ego to others and it represents the ego to yourself. That's why it is such a tightly held concept. Most people consider it their number one identifier. It is what is unique to them. It's what makes them special to themselves. It is the leading role performance of the character in your play.

Identifying with conscious awareness doesn't eliminate personality from the ego. The ego will still have its personality, but a lot of the identifiers of the personality will dissipate and its behavior will change into an even better personality. For one thing, the ego won't feel such a need to prove itself through its personality. It won't feel the need to be dishonest or phony. Imagine not caring about what people think of you and never worrying about it. You no longer will govern your behavior by what you want people to think of you. What freedom! Imagine being free of that burden of the ego's concern of others' opinion of it. It could stop the big act – the act of proving itself.

Perceiving yourself as conscious awareness requires you to perceive others as their conscious awareness as well, but you still have to be aware that their ego isn't aware of that. Seeing others as conscious awareness and not their personality and ego opens up a great deal of understanding about their ego and behavior. You see that they are doing the same thing you've been doing your entire life. There is no reason to make judgments about their ego because the ego isn't what they are. Their behavior and personality isn't what they are. There is no need to gossip about their ego. There is no need to be offended by their ego. There is no need to argue and get angry with their ego. You're not dealing with a real entity and that which is dealing with that entity isn't a real entity. The ego is nothing but a thought form manufactured and constructed by beliefs in the mind. Their ego is just doing what egos do – proving itself. Its what your ego does and has been doing nearly your entire life. It does it through your personality.

By no means does that mean that we accept any and all behavior of others and ourselves as well, we just don't attach identity to it. That is essentially what forgiveness is. Somebody somewhere said something about loving the sinner and hating the sin. That's not associating the behavior with the person causing it. It's the ego causing it and that isn't what we are. I think whoever said that was essentially saying the same thing. What ever happened to that guy anyway?

By not attaching to our behavior allows us to free ourselves of poor behavior. By not identifying others with their behavior allows us to see them in a more forgiving light. We might hold onto a grudge for years and that person may have changed that behavior in themselves. We may have misperceived their behavior in the first place due to what we wanted to believe according to our own self interests and agenda. We may have perceived their behavior in a self-serving biased way that fit into our beliefs about our self being “right.” If we could come from conscious awareness perspective, we might see reasons for the person's behavior that we were unaware of before and we will have a greater understanding of it and it might actually lead to compassion and a desire to help that person out of the turmoil that caused that behavior.

If you've read all the posts up to here, can you understand how the ego/identity is a concept in your mind? It doesn't exist out of the mind. Its personality is just the outward expression of the belief in your identity. You might think pretty highly of yourself and consider your acts as being good. They very well may be, but those acts aren't you. They may be the result of who you think you are and an outward expression of it, but they still come from a construct of the mind – a thought form. How selfless are those good deeds and accomplishments you do? Is the motivation pure without any trace of yourself? Do you pat yourself on your back for doing them. Can you do them and not tell anyone about them? Do you need to identify with your identity to do them and are those acts limited by your ego in some way? Keep doing those good deeds but just don't identify with them. That way you'll be able to more clearly see the real need. Giving $5 to a panhandler might just support their alcoholism. Did you take the time to speak with him and try to find out what he truly needs? Maybe the act of you showing that someone cares enough to speak to him is what he needs the most.

My ex-wife was full of good deeds but she did those deeds primarily to feel good about herself. At one point, I thought she was the best person I had ever known. That's what she wanted everybody to believe and worked extremely hard to convince people to believe that. That was her motivation for her good deeds. She was a compulsive liar that would lie even when the truth would suffice and there was no need to lie except to put herself in a better light. She accomplished a lot of good deeds, but now I see her as one of the most self-serving egos I've ever known. If someone didn't perceive her the way she wanted them to, she had absolutely no concern for them whatsoever. She was a great salesperson and a master manipulator. Her manipulation and lies caused so much damage to so many relationships. Her self-serving agenda caused more damage than good but she does accomplish her goal. Most people buy her phony act portraying the kindhearted thoughtful generous person she really isn't. She has one of the most exuberant personalities I've ever known, but it isn't even the real belief of her self. It's all an act – an act that she even believes and justifies with abhorrent self-serving behavior at times. People that have had a conflict with her know a completely different person. But my ex-wife isn't her ego or personality. I can now see that she was a very troubled ego with extremely poor self-esteem. She really must feel terrible inside and ridden with guilt. I feel for her. She must actually believe she is a very bad person to try so hard to get people to think she is a good person. That belief can be hidden and covered up but it eventually reveals itself with behavior and if that behavior has been repressed for along time, that behavior can come out in very extreme ways and then that belief is validated and reinforced with more identification. If she could only see that she isn't her personality, behavior and beliefs about herself she would feel so much better and not have to prove herself. Then her deeds could all be good. I admit I was no angel either. The difference was I didn't pretend to be one, but I had my ego problems as well and still have others today. But by not being attached and identifying with those past problems, I've been able to let them go. My ego is essentially an entirely different ego now, but it's still an ego and a thought form. It's meaningless except as a tool.

Our personality has such a tight grip on us. Your ego is probably fighting what I'm saying tooth and nail right now because of it. The personality is very self important to your ego. The personality is the representative of the ego. You probably associate your identity with it more than anything else, but it is working to block you from so much more of what you truly are. You don't know that yet so you have a great excuse to keep identifying with it. If you accepted what I'm saying and had the experience I had, do you think your identity and personality would simply vanish. It didn't with me, but it sure did become less important to me. I don't feel the need to defend it and prove it the way I did. The ego's concern of other people's opinions about it are a lot less. You won't lose your identity and personality but it will change for the better. You'll want to lose a lot of it. You'll see how it limits you. You'll want to be more of what you actually are. You will have an entirely different perspective and things that were important to you won't be any more. Don't worry. You'll see those things weren't important in the first place.

So, what's it going to take to convince you of what I'm saying here? If you're not convinced yet, how do I get through to you? What can change your mind? Only you can change your mind. I can't do it. If you're still clinging on to your identity, I guess all I can do is keep on writing and hope you read it. I can go on and on. I have so much to say I'm writing a book as well. What else can I do but keep on writing? Maybe one more thing I write will make it click for you. I honestly hope so.

9-Identity Identifiers

Identity identifies. That is its simple nature. Identity identifies with beliefs or subtle thoughts that aren't recognized as beliefs. The ego/identity identifies all day long. First and foremost, it identifies with itself. Then it identifies with a multitude of beliefs that define it. Each individual identification is a belief. It identifies with feelings and thoughts such as fear or sadness. It identifies with the past. It identifies with the roles it plays. It identifies with possessions. The list goes on and on. There are so many things that identity identifies with to go through them all and examine them all is way beyond the scope of this blog. An entire book could be written on it. The ego/identity defines itself with identifying. It does this all day long all life long unless it is consciously stopped.

How do you define yourself. What are 20 definitions that you identify yourself by? You might list your personality, body, and mind which are legitimate definitions but to come up with 20 definitions, you're going to come up with things that are unique to you that differentiate you from other people. Let's use a man for example. For a man, you might say you're a teacher, a husband and a father which are also true, but what does it mean to be those things? You have definitions of those things as well. Those are roles you play. You might be a CEO of a huge corporation and that is how you act and define yourself at work. Then you come home and you define yourself as a husband and a father and you act accordingly. You are a different person at work than you are at home. The people at work see a different person than the one your wife and children see at home – at least that's usually the case. At work you need to act differently than the way you act with your wife because you're in charge at work and your employees need to follow your decisions, requests and orders. At home, you probably have to follow your wife's decisions and her orders. As a father, you can't treat your child the same way you would treat someone at work that didn't follow through with your requests or decisions. We play different roles for different situations and those roles are major identifiers.

Who are you when you're by yourself and you aren't playing a role? That's probably an entirely different person all together. There's no need to play a role when you are by yourself. You're not being a CEO, husband or father. You may still consider yourself to be those things but your behavior doesn't need to represent them so you act naturally which can be very different from the roles you play. You only play those roles when your behavior needs to represent them according to other people. You don't always perceive yourself to be all those things at once. You might be a completely different person on the golf course with your buddies. So what's with the act? Your ego is playing the character that is required at that time in the play of your life. It's a portrayal of yourself and is rarely genuine, if ever, if you're playing a role. Your golf buddies probably have an entirely different definition of you than the people at work and that is the way you want it so you play those different roles, but who is playing those different roles. It's your self-perceived identity. You're one person at one time and then another person another time. You aren't locked into being one type of person all the time. Your self adapts to the situation even though you still identify with those definitions of yourself. We commonly identify ourselves with the roles we play. Are you really a CEO? (Maybe you're Meg Whitman and a woman.) What happens when you retire. Are you a retired CEO and if so, how is your behavior going to match that definition? So, are you your behavior? How could you be your behavior when so much of it is an act and doesn't even represent who you think you are?

We usually consider our behavior a big factor in who we perceive our self to be but we aren't aware of it except when we see it as our personality. We identify very strongly with our behavior and especially our past behavior. Identifying with our past behavior can cause us to continue that behavior even though it is something we'd rather not do. By considering it a part of our identity, we behave accordingly. That's one reason old habits are so hard to break. But our behavior is variable and we behave entirely different in different situations with the roles we play. We can't be our behavior if our behavior is constantly changing. At work you might be a demanding jerk but at home you're a loving parent or spouse. So what is it? Are you both a jerk and a loving person. No, you're most likely a loving person that acts like a jerk at work. You are most likely more genuine with your spouse and children. You play more of a disingenuous role at work. So what is the authentic you that doesn't change? How authentic are you with your spouse? Do you sometimes want to be that powerful demanding person you are at work when your wife says that you're going to the Ballet? You don't act that way because it will cause conflict. You act another way and that isn't genuine either—it is a role. It isn't even your ego. It's all a phony act.

Stop identifying and you pretty much stop the ego dead in its tracks. The fundamental identifier of the ego is itself. It identifies itself as being the self. It is responsible for its own existence by identifying with identity – the paradox continues. Its belief in itself is the whole purpose in identifying with so many other things. It needs to uphold that belief. It justifies that belief with identifying beliefs. Those identifying beliefs form the ego/identity and they need to be continuously renewed and reinforced because of the uncertain nature of beliefs. Remember, beliefs aren't facts and there are always other possibilities with a belief. Beliefs are just thoughts. How can you be a thought anyway?

Identifiers are attachments. We attach our identity to them. We associate with them. We associate with them through the belief we have of them. Attachments can take all kinds of forms and they often cause problems in our lives. Our beliefs are attachments. Our perception of a situation or circumstance can be an attachment. Attachment requires importance – a belief in importance either good or bad. All identifiers are simply beliefs of identity. Attachments identify the ego and reinforce it and validate it. The entire nature of attachment is limiting however as it maintains the ego. 

Many attachments cause major problems in our lives. Unfounded fears are attachments. Fears cause major, I mean major, problems in our lives. A lot of people govern their lives by their fears. For example, some people feel naked without a gun on their belt. Talk about an attachment! For some people, a gun is like an added appendage that they can't leave home without. They see a potential threat everywhere. They don't want any gun control laws because they fear the government is going to take away their guns. Some of these people have numerous guns. They can't imagine life without them. Guns are an extremely significant part of their lives and identity. They'd be lost without their guns and it all comes down to fear. They are attached and identify with their fear. And that fear has led to other attachments and a whole perspective about safety and guns. Many gun enthusiasts revolve their entire political philosophy around guns and gun control. Talk about a limiting attachment indeed! Nearly their entire perspective revolves around guns and it all comes down to their base fear.

Fear is a really common identifier and doesn't just apply to gun owners. Fear of death can cause a person to be deeply religious and govern their life according to those beliefs that relieve their fear. It's interesting that many religious people are gun enthusiasts as well. It's ironic that their religious beliefs can cause more fear. They actually fear God himself. They act with self perceived morality because of the fear of hell or punishment from God. They are attached to fear and it governs their life. Their life revolves around it. They attach the same fearful attributes of man to God. Why would God punish us? Is he such a petty tyrant and dictator that if we don't believe the way he demands us to believe that he is going to put us through excruciating torture of the worst kind that our fear can imagine for all eternity? That's a pretty egotistical God. Sounds like something that an ego such as Stalin or Hitler would do. That's called ego projection and we'll get to that later.

So, now that I've managed to offend at least half the population of America. I might as well go into politics and offend the other half. That's one thing I loved about George Carlin. He tended to offend everyone and it was because he told the truth and people don't want to hear the truth so they get offended. Maybe I'll hold off on politics right now and just say that political beliefs are other major identifiers. Are you a liberal, conservative, progressive, Libertarian, Republican, Democrat, etc.? Both religion and politics are great examples of beliefs that identify us and are some of the strongest tightly held self-righteous beliefs we have.

We can remove an attachment by stopping the identification with it – by not considering it a part of ourselves. If it is something we enjoy such as a sports activity, we don't need to give up the activity, we just stop identifying with it as a definition of ourselves. Instead of being a skier, you are someone that skies and enjoys skiing. There is no need to identify with it. You're only a skier when you ski. This is the same for many identifiers and there is no need for you to identify with them. Identifying with them just strengthens the ego and justifies it. I know many people that ski who consider themselves as skiers first and foremost. Being a skier is a major identifier to them. Not only do they consider themselves to be skiers, they consider themselves to be excellent skiers and are very proud of being excellent skiers. Their identity is attached to skiing. They hang out with a group of other excellent skiers and talk about what excellent skiers they are.

Sports are often identifiers and it is very common for an athlete or participant of a sport to identify with it. In fact, egos are often very pronounced with many athletes because they identify so strongly with the sport they play or do. Each time they step on the court or field they are proving their ego. It's no longer a game for fun. It's a competition of who is better than who. Which ego is better. It is commonplace for a good athlete to have a very strong ego or be “full” of himself (egotistical) because his ego has been proven through his sport that he is better than most. We've all seen that in the jocks in high school and many professional athletes. The ego loves to be better than others and in sports it gets to prove it. There's nothing the ego wants more than being better than others and when it gets to prove it, it revels in itself. This is the direct result of the inherent insecurity within the ego. Being “right” is an example of that as well. When all my skiing buddies got so serious and made a competition out of skiing, it lost it's fun for me. Even though I was a better skier than most, trying to prove it wasn't any fun. My identity wasn't so wrapped up in skiing even though I enjoyed it immensely. I could do it by myself and have a great time. I had nothing to prove. I didn't identify myself as a skier and wasn't attached to it. I no longer live where I can ski and I don't miss it because I'm not attached to it and when I do get a chance to ski, I enjoy it even more.

Even in golf, which is a sport like skiing where your performance has no impact on the other participant's performance, the ego has devised a way for the ego to be better. It's called betting. Golfing has such a wide range of talent levels that it isn't fair to compete just on talent alone. A fair way had to be devised to determine the best golfer for the day so the handicap system was developed so all golfers could compete with each other. It isn't enough just to play the game and compete with your own past performance, the ego needs to be able to prove it is better than others if even only for that day. I have a friend that enjoys golf way more than I do. Golf is way too frustrating to me and I haven't played it in years, but my friend enjoys golf so much that she doesn't even bother to keep score. She keeps score on each individual hole as she plays it, but never tallies up her score at the end of a round. Her ego isn't attached to golfing and she doesn't even need to know her score to enjoy it. Her performance hardly matters to her. She just enjoys it. That way she enjoys it much more than I do because my performance matters to me, or at least it did when I last played. I identified with my performance. My friend doesn't.

Identifiers limit you in so many ways and, as I've shown above, they can limit your experiences in life. They limit your entire experience of life. They limit your experience of yourself and others. The identifiers you use for yourself cause you to define other people as well. They are the basis for a lot of your judgment of others. They are the basis for judgments about experiences you have. Your definitions of yourself and others completely alters your perception of everything—including you.

Take a look at these identifiers. Which ones apply to you? I bet a lot of them. Consider them carefully and see how they identify you.

Personality

Accomplishments

Physical abilities

Ailments

Past/Personal History

Age

Possessions/Car/Clothes/House/Toys

Money/Rich/Poor/Middle class/Destitute

Education

Knowledge

Body/Appearance/ Looks/Presentation/Weight/Strength/health/ etc.

Job/Profession/Title/Trade

Likes and Dislikes/Preferences

Emotions/Feelings

Emotional Problems or issues.

Roles/Spouse/Parent/Friend/Significant other, Sibling

         A sub-group of its own its so extensive. Many identifiers are roles.

         Soccer mom, Athlete, Fan, Student, Victim, Martyr, Troubled, Responsible, etc. 

Associates/Friends/Clubs/Groups/Family

          The people you choose to spend time with.

Pets/Animals

Expertise

Intelligence/Degree of intelligence

Opinions

Others' opinions of you. Big one!

Activities/Hobbies/Interests-- Artist, Golfer, Woodworker, Etc.

Thoughts/Ideas/Mind

Attitude/Perspective

Personal evaluations

Mind/Memory

Demeanor

Mistakes

Judgments

Reactions

Faults

Fears

Health

Politics

Religion

Beliefs!

Love

Feel free to add to this list by leaving a message below.

All of these identifiers involve some form of belief. How can you be composed of beliefs? You can't. You don't have to identify with any of these things; nor do you have to relinquish them, but some of them you clearly should. Why define yourself so extensively? What is the point in doing that? What purpose does it serve? If you stop identifying it frees you from those attributes if you choose to be free of them. If you're a sports fan, you can keep on being a sports fan, you just don't identify yourself as being a sports fan. You don't consider that to be a part of your identity. It doesn't define you.

What is the point of the ego identifying? So it can be your ego/identity and that's what the ego/identity wants. It wants to be something special. Why? Because the ego knows deep down that it isn't something special. The ego often flaunts many things and hides  others that it doesn't want people to know what it really thinks about itself. Identity usually only presents the good side. The ego has a lot of secrets – A LOT! A great way to take power and control away from the ego is to be honest and humble. That's why the meek shall inherit the earth. It will all be theirs. If they choose to identify, they can identify with everything.

The ego/identity wants to control and keep its attention on its self. One way it does this is with the constant internal dialogue when it is talking to itself. What a great way to keep its attention on its self. It's brilliant! What could work better to keep its focus on itself than talking to itself? Sometimes it even responds to itself or asks a question of itself. By talking to itself, it is constantly identifying with itself. Meditation is an excellent way to learn and practice not doing this. Meditation focuses your attention with concentration away from the self in your mind—away from your thoughts and internal dialogue. It is a focusing of attention and the only thing that focus has to be on is your breath. When you are entirely focused on something besides your mind, thoughts and chatter, you lose awareness of your self/identity. You stop identifying. Entertainment does this. If something is very entertaining, we lose ourselves in it. People love to be entertained. It's as if we have a need or desire to lose ourselves. We actually enjoy losing awareness of our self. If we have something that needs all of our attention for concentration, like a math problem, we lose awareness of ourselves while solving the problem. All of our attention is on the math problem. We do this rather frequently throughout our day, but we spend much more time talking to ourselves and that talking is a constant identification process.

To lose our selves can be very relaxing. It actually takes a lot of energy to continuously identify. Meditation helps us to take our focus off ourselves not only when we are meditating, but throughout our day. If you want to stop identifying, at least with the negative aspects you believe about yourself, learn to meditate and control your focus and attention. If something is bothering you, take your focus off it and it will disappear. It may come back later but the more you take your focus off it, the less power it will have and eventually stop bothering you. Each time it comes back you will slowly have a different perception of it. A solution to the problem may come to you or you might just see that it is no longer important. Dwelling on it gives it more power. Identifying with it gives it all kinds of power. If you don't like something about yourself, quit identifying with it -- quit considering it a part of yourself. It's just a belief anyway. Maybe it's a belief that you have acted out, but it is still a belief. Replace it with an opposing belief. I'm not talking about an affirmation or something similar. Affirmations just tend to reaffirm the old beliefs unless you genuinely believe them. If you genuinely believe an affirmation, then it can work great but you have to genuinely  believe them. If you identify with another belief that contradicts that old belief and you genuinely believe it, then by all means, continually affirm it. Make it a genuine belief in your belief system if it frees you and helps you grow and learn. That's what I was referring to as un-limiting beliefs. The trick is that you may have to weaken the old belief first by not thinking about it and taking your attention off it and making it less important by seeing it as nothing more than a belief.

I'm going to stop here because this is already a very long post and like I said, an entire book could be written on identifying and there probably is. If not, maybe that will be my next project. I'll just say that if you feel the need to identify, forget all the other crap and identify with your love and your Conscious Awareness.